No Wornettes Were Harmed in the Making of this Blind Date

Anna and Eliza Wornette are locked in the office, asked to talk shoes, love it, and then go for drinks happily after

Anna and Eliza talk shoes

The lives of certain Wornettes intersect more than others. Editorial Wornettes gather around the table with other editorial Wornettes. Likewise for the stylists. This is just the nature of the magazine beast. But sometimes, serendipitously (read: when we ask them to), two Wornettes, who have not been able to get in as much quality time, sit down in the office for a good solid chat. And this time, the chat was about SHOES.

Anna: I’ve got big feet. They’re like, size 11/12 women’s and I wear a lot of like really simple flats ’cause I’m also six feet tall. I have this one pair of brown boots with a bit of a heel and they lace up. I got them at a vintage sale. They fit and I never find shoes that fit, especially not vintage. I think they’re originally from Aldo or someplace really boring but they’re the only heels I’m actually comfortable in.

Eliza: I don’t wear any heels either.

A: ‘Cause you’re also tall!

E: I’m pretty tall and when I wear high heels, I’m kind of towering over everyone. I don’t know. I like seeing other peoples’ faces.

A: I was in high school when Facebook became a thing, and everyone had joined Facebook groups. I was part of one called “Cute Girls with Big Feet” about where to find shoes for tall people. Then I got a friend request from a guy I didn’t know and he messaged me, “Do you have big feet? Do you have old shoes you can give me?” So I blocked him and every few months, I would get a friend request from Steven Smallfoot or Mr. Bigfoot Lover and I would just block him right away. He’d send me surveys like, “Eye color? Shoe size? Do you ever sweat in your shoes? What do your shoes smell like?” and they’d be like really sexual. So, I had to leave the group.

E: …Wow. [laughs]

A: I walk a lot and I don’t wear socks and my shoes do smell bad, so I probably could pay my rent by selling him my old shoes but I have not done that. True story. [laughs] Okay, what are the weirdest shoes that you own?

E: Actually I’m not sure I own any particularly weird shoes. My sibling actually got a really cool pair of shoes from Chinatown and they were Kool Aid shoes; they were completely orange.

A: Like dyed with Kool Aid, or?

E: They were orange shoes and then they had the Kool Aid mascot on them. Those shoes are awesome but I don’t really have any really statement-y shoes. I’ve always wanted these rain boots that I used to have when I was a kid. They had little frog eyes on the front.

A: Were they green?

E: Yes, they were green. But they definitely don’t make them in my size anymore.

A: I used to actually work at a shoe store as a quote-unquote sales associate which meant that like I had to find sizes for people. All the shoes were on the floor too, so I’d point and be like “Oh, there’s your size” and that was literally my job. People would ask me fashion questions, but we sold like the simplest generic shoes so I’d have to say “Sure, yeah, those like, black loafers are in for fall. You should get them. Or perhaps try brown. ” Like black and brown were the only colours.

E: My mom’s actually a really big shoe collector. Her eyes just light up around them. I guess that’s why I’m not as much into shoes, because I spent so much time in shoe stores when I was a kid. Hats were like my main priority because I’m tall; I feel like my shoes are so far away. I mean, your feet are at the bottom of your body.

A: But it’s something you notice because shoes change the way you walk and stand and hold yourself more than really any other clothes, unless you’re wearing a corset or something.

E: Do you have a dream pair of shoes that you’ve kind of always been looking for but never found?

A: When I pay attention to runway shows, I don’t look at shoes as much but there was this Balenciaga shoe in, I want to say it was 2009, and the heels were like rock mineral experiments. Something you would look at in a high school geology. Is geology even a thing you do in high school?

E: I’ve always liked this shoe designed by Jeremy Scott. Just these sneakers that are fuzzy and had a teddy bear attached to them.

A: That’s such a you thing to like.

E: I’ve been obsessing over them. I think that kind of shoe is like, really a statement shoe.

A: It’s kind of like a grownup version of those rain boots.

E: Yes. [laughs]

A: I’m into sneakers lately. I’m like, “I’m laid back. I’m cool. I wear sneakers with my dress.”

E: When I was a teenager, I really liked Lily Allen. She always wore those prom dresses with the sneakers and big hoops. I had never thought of someone dressing up like that and wearing such casual shoes. There’s this movie I saw, Party Girl.

A: With Parker Posey?

E: She’s the most memorable character from movies or TV shows with her shoes. She was wearing these platform sneakers. They were white.

A: Platforms. Oh god!

E: I really love them, though.

A: All I can think of is the Spice Girls and the Union Jack shoes.

E: When I was 16, I went to New York with my mom and we were looking through all the stores on Bleecker Street. There’s one store I really liked so we were spending a bit more time there. It was pretty empty and there was a photographer in the store. And then the photographer started talking to us and said that they were doing an article about round-toed heels, which were in style at the time, and that they needed someone to wear them for the photoshoot.

A: That’s such a “small town girl goes to the big city and becomes a model” thing [laughs].

E: It was in the New York Times. My dad sent it to all the relatives.

A: So you’ve been in The Times!

E: I don’t even know if I actually read the article! [laughs] I was just like, “Cool!”

A: Did you end up getting the shoes?

E: No. I felt like I should get the shoes, it was a pretty nice store, but I would always rather buy a hat.

illustration // Averill Smith

Culinary Couture

10 ways food has been used to make clothing

I love eating. Food provides me with many fulfilling joys and enlightens my soul. I also love fashion. It takes me, along with other fashion fanatics, to a whole new, vibrant world. You can only imagine my elation when I found out that Lady Gaga was not the first or only wacky fashion icon to use food as a clothing material. There is a whole world out there of designers and artists who are bringing the kitchen into the atelier. Here are ten of my favourites.

1 // Vanitas: Flesh Dress for an Albino Anorectic
Before Lady Gaga came along, Canadian artist Jana Sterbak’s original meat dress created national controversy as it portrayed a contrast between bodily decomposition and narcissism. Her piece consisted of $300 worth of raw steak sewn together. This legendary dress has attracted a massive amount of publicity throughout the years and paved a path for modern artists.

2 // Rock The Meat
It wasn’t unusual for a gritty punk rock band from the late 70’s to have a very bizarre album cover. The Undertones’ featured a woman wearing pieces of meat as a dress, held together with saran wrap around her body, and completed with a sausage necklace for their compilation album, All Wrapped Up. Can’t get any more rock ‘n’ roll than that.

3 // Surreal Fantasy
The most famous surrealist of all time, Salvador Dali, created an extraordinary pavilion called Dream of Venus at the 1939 New York World’s Fair which featured remarkable underwater fantasy sculptures and semi-nude women parading around in themed outfits. One of the most prominent pieces involved a blindfolded model with a giant lobster belt and necklace.

4 // WTF, a Wine Dress?
Trying to explain the process of how to make a dress out of wine when I have a word limit can be very hard. So here is a link to satisfy your scientific curiosities. This dress uses biological fermentation to mold itself into a garment; no sewing, stitching, stapling, or glue guns involved.

5 // Lettuce Take a Moment
Project Runway is a favourite pastime that never fails to disappoint. Season 4 finalist, Chris March, created this outrageous yet elegant dress made out of $50 worth of lettuce. Wish-Bone used this dress to promote its salad dressings. Easy on the pocket and easier on the eyes, here is another tribute to the low-calorie leafy greens.

6 // Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
Jeremy Scott’s fall 2006 collection definitely turned heads and sparked drooling mouths with this spaghetti dress and meatball accessories.

7 // It’s Gonna Be a Sweet Wedding
Personally, I’ve always wanted a guy who could cook me delicious meals. Imagine my jealously when this baker from Ukraine surprises his lucky bride-to-be by making her a wedding dress out of cream puffs. Made out of eggs, sugar, flour, and caramel, this gown contained a whooping 1,500 cream puffs. I think I hear my stomach grumbling.

8 // Coco Jerky
What does one think of when they hear the word Chanel? Is it the iconic French designer? Or is it a quilted bag made of beef jerky? Nancy Wu has accomplished the impossible. Hand-sewn sheets of dried meat never looked more chic. Made from 100% pure beef jerky, this Chanel-inspired bag is the perfect accessory to nibble on while out for a night on the town. Anyone know where I can get one?

9 // Elegant Veggies
With the vision of promoting vegetarianism in mind, PETA enlisted the help of Cloris Leachman, amongst many others, who sported a long gown made completely of leafy lettuce and red cabbage.

10 // Wearable Foods Extraordinaire
Sung Yeon Ju is a Korean artist who recently created a series called Wearable Foods made out of, well, wearable foods—mostly fruits and vegetables, but also bubble gum and even chicken feathers. The idea behind the collection is to highlight the interchange between actual and perceived reality. The result is absolutely stunning.