This Shit Ain’t Free: Lip Stains

2011 was the year I finally embraced wearing lipstick. I have what is commonly referred to as a “gigantic mouth” and always thought lip colours would call negative attention to it. Not only that, but my gigantic mouth is paired with huge teeth, which means I’m constantly worried about getting lipstick on said huge teeth. However, 2011 was the year I learned that wearing lipstick makes everyone look better. It seems to work some sort of psychological magic on other people: your skin appears clearer, your eyes seem brighter, and you just generally present the appearance of someone who is very polished and together and not hungover at the WORN office struggling not to barf on Serah-Marie’s laptop. Not that I would know from personal experience.

I still try to save lipstick for special occasions. I like the creamy texture of lipsticks for more civilized activities—drinks with friends, job interviews, that sort of thing. Lip stains are better for everyday wear because they do what the name implies: they stain your lips and then leave the colour there for a long-ass time. If you’re working all day away from a mirror, you can trust a lip stain to stay more or less in place; if you’re at a sweaty dance party, a lip stain won’t bleed all over your chin when you wipe some errant vodka from your face. Again, not that I would know from personal experience.

For this edition of “This Shit Ain’t Free,” I present a round-up of some lip stains currently bouncing around the bottom of my purse.

COVERGIRL OUTLAST LIP STAIN IN SCARLET PUCKER
I either got this lip stain through MAGIC or through STEALING. I was holding it in my hand at Shoppers, and I swear I thought I put it on the counter with my toothpaste and Twizzlers (anti-cavities and pro-sugar, I am nothing if not counterproductive). The next thing I knew I was outside and my receipt didn’t have the lip stain on it! Ah!! So, technically, I did not pay for this shit. But I MEANT to.

Not that I advocate accidental shoplifting, but I have to say, I’m sort of glad I didn’t pay for this. It’s not so great. I really like the colour, but the formula is very drying. I find that the texture just calls attention to how dry my lips get in the winter. Sometimes I layer it underneath the above mentioned creamy lipstick to give the colours more depth. Otherwise I have to pile a bunch of lip balm on top of it (Kiehl’s #1 is the best, don’t even try to fight me on this). It’s definitely not my favorite. I give it 1 smooch out of 4 potential smooches.
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Out of Bounds: Behind the Scenes

I wish I knew more about sports so that I had something intelligent to say. As it is, I can only think of cliches to describe how I feel about Out of Bounds, the sports-inspired photo shoot in issue 14. Styled by Eliza Trent-Rennick and featuring two beautiful Wornettes, Angela Leung and Sofie Mikhaylova, it’s, um, a slam dunk! Home run! Touchdown! Errr…clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose? Just watch it, everyone. There’s no “I” in team.

text by Haley Mlotek
video by Daniel Reis

Cut and Print: An Ode to Ed Wood Jr.

Greetings, Wornettes! You are interested in the unknown. The mysterious. The unexplainable. The fashionable. That is why you are here, on the WORN Fashion Journal blog.

Now, for the first time, we are bringing you the full story of what happened behind the scenes of Issue 14‘s Ed Wood-inspired photo shoot, Cut and Print. We are giving you all the evidence based only on the secret testimony of the miserable stylists, photographers, and models who survived this terrifying ordeal. The incidents, the shoes, the beautiful Gladstone Hotel.

My friends, we cannot keep this a secret any longer. Purchase Issue 14 here and now to find out the TRUTH. Can your heart stand the shocking video of the photo shoot inspired by Edward D. Wood Jr.?

text by Haley Mlotek, with some help from Tim Burton
video by Daniel Reis

Vodka: Is There Anything It Can’t Do?

My absolute favorite shirt is, to put it lightly, delicate. It’s paper-thin silk, hand painted leopard print, with tiny glass buttons. Sometimes I feel like a particularly strong wind could rip a hole through it. “Dry clean only” is not a suggestion—it’s a command.

But what is it with that dry cleaning smell? When my shirt comes back, it brings with it a weird, salty, chemical odor that lingers for days. I couldn’t figure out what to do to get rid of it, so, duh, I Googled “how to get weird dry cleaning smell out of silk.”

The answer was in my freezer. One part vodka, one part water, mixed in a spray bottle: give the item a little spritz, let it hang, and voila! The vodka is a natural deodorizer and neutralizes all those weird chemical smells.

Now go put on your favourite shirt and make yourself a vodka soda.

text by Haley Mlotek
photography by Katie Merchant