This Shit Ain’t Free: Lip Stains

2011 was the year I finally embraced wearing lipstick. I have what is commonly referred to as a “gigantic mouth” and always thought lip colours would call negative attention to it. Not only that, but my gigantic mouth is paired with huge teeth, which means I’m constantly worried about getting lipstick on said huge teeth. However, 2011 was the year I learned that wearing lipstick makes everyone look better. It seems to work some sort of psychological magic on other people: your skin appears clearer, your eyes seem brighter, and you just generally present the appearance of someone who is very polished and together and not hungover at the WORN office struggling not to barf on Serah-Marie’s laptop. Not that I would know from personal experience.

I still try to save lipstick for special occasions. I like the creamy texture of lipsticks for more civilized activities—drinks with friends, job interviews, that sort of thing. Lip stains are better for everyday wear because they do what the name implies: they stain your lips and then leave the colour there for a long-ass time. If you’re working all day away from a mirror, you can trust a lip stain to stay more or less in place; if you’re at a sweaty dance party, a lip stain won’t bleed all over your chin when you wipe some errant vodka from your face. Again, not that I would know from personal experience.

For this edition of “This Shit Ain’t Free,” I present a round-up of some lip stains currently bouncing around the bottom of my purse.

COVERGIRL OUTLAST LIP STAIN IN SCARLET PUCKER
I either got this lip stain through MAGIC or through STEALING. I was holding it in my hand at Shoppers, and I swear I thought I put it on the counter with my toothpaste and Twizzlers (anti-cavities and pro-sugar, I am nothing if not counterproductive). The next thing I knew I was outside and my receipt didn’t have the lip stain on it! Ah!! So, technically, I did not pay for this shit. But I MEANT to.

Not that I advocate accidental shoplifting, but I have to say, I’m sort of glad I didn’t pay for this. It’s not so great. I really like the colour, but the formula is very drying. I find that the texture just calls attention to how dry my lips get in the winter. Sometimes I layer it underneath the above mentioned creamy lipstick to give the colours more depth. Otherwise I have to pile a bunch of lip balm on top of it (Kiehl’s #1 is the best, don’t even try to fight me on this). It’s definitely not my favorite. I give it 1 smooch out of 4 potential smooches.
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Ball So Hard: NBA All-Sartorial Team 2012


It’s no secret that NBA players are having more fun than ever with their wardrobes. We’re deep into the playoffs and the post-game interviews have produced more memorable outfits than most runway collections do. Here’s my sartorial starting lineup:

Point Guard – Russell Westbrook

His shirt may be covered in lures and tackles, but the way that OKC is playing, he isn’t going fishing any time soon. He may not be the most efficient scorer, but he did find a way to combine his four favorite shirts into one.

I’m glad that the Oklahoma City Thunder made it to the Finals, if only so that we can see what else Westbrook will pull out of his closet for the post-game interviews. His horn-rimmed “nerd” glasses, popular among many NBA stars these days, and print polo ensembles have been analyzed more than his signature pick-and-roll.


FACT: Westbrook asked his tailor to create a shirt that looked like the opening credits to Saved by the Bell.*

*Not a fact.

Shooting Guard – Dwayne Wade

He might be second banana to LeBron on the Miami Heat, but D-Wade is the style MVP.


He rocks a lot of cashmere for a man playing in sweltering Miami, which is probably why he’s shirtless in the latest issue of Vogue.
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Call Us a Philistine

A nook in the heart of Parkdale, just minutes away from our WORN office, Philistine plays host to an abundance of vintage and vintage inspired treasures; many a floral dress or woven shoe have seduced this Wornette on the short (yet dangerous for my credit card) walk from the office to my apartment. Leather boots and oxfords line the walls, while maps are plastered to the ceiling and antique birdcages (one of which makes an appearance in Issue 13) rest on hardwood floors. And if that wasn’t enough to draw you in, it now carries WORN! Stop by and pick up a copy, try on some fluorescent cut-offs and enjoy the rugged charm of Philistine.


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